I once watched a brilliant senior director sabotage her biggest career opportunity in under five minutes.

She had prepared for weeks for her first board presentation. Every data point was bulletproof, her slides flawless, and her delivery perfectly rehearsed. But as she stood at that mahogany table surrounded by C-suite executives, something went wrong. She became a performer instead of a leader, and the room could feel it.

The feedback afterwards? "She knows her stuff, but she doesn't have executive presence."

That phrase "executive presence" has haunted countless talented leaders. It is vague enough to be frustrating and specific enough to derail careers. And here is the paradox: the harder most leaders try to project it, the more elusive it becomes.

The problem: We’re teaching executive presence all wrong

If you have been told you need to "work on your executive presence," you know how maddening it is. What does that even mean? Stand up straighter? Speak more slowly?

So you do what high-performers do: you study it. You watch TED talks. You mirror other executives. You practise 'power poses' in the bathroom before big meetings. You consciously lower your voice, slow your cadence, and try to "command the room."

And somehow, it still doesn't work.

Research from the Centre for Talent Innovation found that executive presence accounts for 26% of what it takes to get promoted, yet 81% of executives struggle to define it. We are telling leaders they need something we cannot even articulate clearly.

The result? Smart, capable leaders become self-conscious performers. They are so busy managing their image that they disconnect from their natural authority. They are trying so hard to look like a leader that they forget to actually lead.

The insight: Presence isn’t performed, it’s accessed

Here is what I learned in two decades leading teams in a FTSE 100 environment: executive presence is not something you project; it is something you allow.

The leaders who commanded attention in the boardroom were not the ones trying hardest to impress. They were the ones most connected to their internal state, their values, and their genuine confidence. They were not performing authority; they were inhabiting it.

This is the executive presence paradox: the moment you try to manufacture it, you lose it.

Think about the most influential leader you have ever encountered. I am guessing they were not following a script or consciously managing their body language. They were fully present, congruent, and clear. Their internal state matched their external expression. There was no gap between who they were and who they were trying to appear to be.

As a coach trained in NLP and hypnosis, I have come to understand that executive presence is fundamentally about state management, not image management. It is neuroscience, not theatre.

The framework: Five principles of authentic executive presence

1. Congruence over performance: Align internal and external states

The brain is exquisitely tuned to detect inauthenticity. When there is a mismatch between what someone says and what they believe, we register it unconsciously, and we lose trust.

Executive presence begins with internal alignment. Before you worry about how you sound, get clear on what you believe. Before you manage your posture, manage your mindset.

• Audit your beliefs: Before high-stakes moments, identify what you genuinely believe about the situation. If you are presenting a strategy you do not fully believe in, the room will sense it.

• Resource yourself first: Connect to your internal confidence before you enter the room. Recall a time when you felt genuinely authoritative and anchor that state.

  
  

A senior leader I coached was struggling in high-stakes meetings despite having exceptional technical knowledge. Once they shifted to trusting their actual expertise and stopped performing someone else's version of leadership, their presence transformed immediately.

2. Stillness over noise: Master the pause

Anxious leaders fill silence with words. Confident leaders let silence do the work. One of the most powerful executive presence tools is the deliberate pause. It signals that you are thinking, not reacting. It demonstrates you are comfortable with attention and creates space for your words to land.

• Pause before you speak: After someone asks a question, take two full seconds before answering. It shows you are considering, not defending.

• Pause after you speak: Let your statements breathe. Do not rush to add qualifiers or justifications.

The neuroscience is clear: strategic silence activates mirror neurons in listeners' brains, increasing attention and retention.

3. Clarity over cleverness: Say less, mean more

I have watched countless smart executives undermine their authority by over-explaining. They bury their point in caveats and tangents. They are so worried about being comprehensive that they stop being clear.

Executive presence requires linguistic precision. The most influential leaders say fewer words with more impact. They make definitive statements.

• Lead with the conclusion: State your point in the first sentence, then support it. Do not make executives wait for your thesis.

• Eliminate qualifiers: Remove "I think," "maybe," "possibly," and "just" from your vocabulary. Say what you mean.

• Use declarative statements: Replace "I feel like we should consider..." with "We should..."

  
  

Clarity is generous—it respects everyone's time and creates space for real dialogue.

4. Embodiment over technique: Your body tells the truth

Your body language is not something you manage; it is something you inhabit. When leaders try to consciously control their posture, they become robotic. When they connect to their internal state, their body naturally expresses authority.

The solution is not better acting; it is better integration.

• Ground before you enter: Before important meetings, take 60 seconds to feel your feet on the floor, your breath in your chest. This activates your parasympathetic nervous system and projects calm.

• Expand your physical space: Anxiety makes us contract. Confidence allows us to take up space.

  
  

Remember: people read your body before they hear your words.

5. Resourcefulness over rigidity: Adapt in real-time

You cannot script real authority. The boardroom throws curveballs: difficult questions, unexpected challenges. Leaders with genuine presence do not panic when the script breaks. They trust their resourcefulness. They adapt, improvise, and respond from a place of internal security rather than external control.

Executive presence is not about acquiring new capabilities; it is about accessing what you already have under pressure.

• Trust the pause (again): When surprised, do not scramble. Take a breath. Trust that you have the resources to respond thoughtfully.

• Stay connected to purpose: When things get chaotic, anchor back to why you are in the room. Clarity of purpose stabilises presence.

The deeper truth: You’re already enough

If there is one limiting belief that kills executive presence faster than anything else, it is this: "I need to become someone different to be taken seriously."

You do not.

The executives who influence boardrooms are not performing some idealised version of leadership. They are showing up as fully integrated versions of themselves—strengths, quirks, and all.

Executive presence is not about mimicking other leaders. It is about becoming more yourself, not less. It is about clearing away the performance anxiety, the self-consciousness, and the fear of judgement so your natural authority can emerge.

Every leader I have coached already had presence. They just needed permission to stop performing and start inhabiting.

Your next step: The presence audit

Before your next high-stakes meeting, ask yourself three questions:

1. Am I fully aligned with what I am about to say? If not, get clear on your actual perspective first.

2. What state am I bringing into the room? Anxious? Confident? Defensive? Choose consciously.

3. Am I showing up as myself, or performing someone else’s version of leadership? If the latter, recalibrate.

   
   

Executive presence is not built through technique; it is accessed through awareness.

Want to go deeper? I have created The Executive Presence Self-Assessment, a practical tool that helps you identify exactly where your presence is strong and where it is leaking authority. It is the same framework I use with senior leaders to diagnose and transform their leadership impact.

Download it free here.